If the amount of alcohol consumption is an issue for you, then why deny your intuition? I, personally, would not get myself involved with another heavy drinker regardless of how mellow their personality could be. Everything "seemed" ok at the beginning with how I thought about drinking and consumption when I first married. But it was an eye opener. So that's truly up to you to decide what's tolerable or not.

As far as the kids. Hmmm. Tough call. Being critical of parenting decisions probably won't go over very well. It could drive wedges or be the straw that breaks the camel's back. In stating leniency, are you suggesting that their approach to consequence or discipline is disagreeable to you? Are the children utterly misbehaved and out of control? Are they troublemakers outside the home?

I don't know about the vacation set ups? It's one thing to be amicable in coparenting. Certainly there will be events and ceremonies etc that call for presence of both parents and respective plus ones. At the same time, vacations? Like Disney? Ugh...exes in small doses are one thing...