I wonder if it would have killed the woman had I ever done that. It would have been such a shock - she simply would have dropped over.
Or (as would have been more an accurate, she would have decided I had some sort of brain tumor or stroke)
Probably I would have refrained because of the off chance (although with her high opinion of how lovable she was perhaps not so off) she thought her special brand of obfuscation, lying, and habit of stating the obvious and irrelevant - had won me over and that I was being serious.