The problem is he KNOWS I am a goner. He knows it better than anything else. I am inbred, injured, infected as well as isolated and abused. He knows my medical history. He knows I have breakdowns. Better than anyone else. So he doesn't want me to know that, he just tells me white lies.

An example of it is, he telling me I can drive. He called his secretory in front of me and told him to give me different meds than prescribed (he prescribed before I asked the question) because he knew I was going to attempt suicide after I come to know that I cannot.