anastasia - good point. not being able to trust your caretakers i think translates into not being able to trust your t. That was a major breakthrough for me to make. When you always had to watch out for yourself growing up, you HAVE to believe you can take care of yourself now better than anyone else.

Eventually, hopefully, something happens in / during the relationship that shows you that your t is NOT your inept parent, that he IS capable of leading you through this underground cave.