I've never been in a relationship, but I've dated extensively from high school up until the past two years where since then I've "enjoyed the single life". I have fantasies and imaginary friends that keep my sex drive running smoothly, meaning now I am looking for more serious relationships over casual sex and use the fantasies to get out any urge to indulge in anything casual in the real world. I recently "broke up" with a coworker. We both declared a light-hearted "secret summer romance", but once I admitted I didn't want sex with him he ignored me. Then there's my best friend whom I've been in love with for the past 10 years. She admitted mutual romantic feelings at one point, but went down a different path. She experimented with kink/BDSM and her sexuality with multiple lovers, claiming to be polyamorous, but she agreed she prefers one partner to give her all the love and undivided attention she needs over many partners who can only give her pieces of it. She confessed that I have always been there for her and that she loves me, but she currently has a boyfriend. She also said there are certain things going on in her life she wants me to know about, but if we were to date, the plus side would be that she is open to moving to where I'll be moving to come October, and we have talked in the past that we would be happy to live together. But living together will not happen anytime soon.

Is it hopeless to purse my best friend? I feel like too many stars have to align before this ever happens, but I also know that the best kind of relationships is to be in love with your best friend, and we've been through everything together. I know that in Oregon there will be more opportunities for both friendships and relationships, but I feel discouraged, but I do know that I'm leaving California with a better understanding of what I value in love and sex and relationships.