Quote:
Originally Posted by raf_edd
Great, very positive. I just hope it's not a symptom of a breakdown, think about short term goals first brother. Don't get tangled in the web. You have a lot of energy right now, release it! It's healthy. But always be aware of what might come. Don't want to sound negative, I only want the best for you. But with me every time I'm very happy and excited for a long term plan. I can't control it and it triggers me depression. Carry on, don't look back at what others might have done. You're not a bad person, you did some ****? Lol it's nothing man, just your mind playing tricks.
Bless you
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Not gonna lie, I've gotten more "positive" every time I've had a full breakdown. My hallucinations are pretty constant today and I had more nightmares last night. I'd like to think I'm flipping these creatures and voices off by not doing what they want. They want me to die and I do, too, but I have this quote in my head right now and I keep saying it to myself, "Maybe I'm just falling to get somewhere they won't" -Mike Shinoda, 'Watching As I Fall'. I've been falling for a long time now and I still am. For the first time in a long time, I actually want to catch myself. I'm at this point where I can either let this kill me or I can let this kill a part of me and learn to live. I still have my T on speed dial and friends who are ready to take me into the hospital at a moment's notice. I know I can't trust my brain right now, so I'm reality checking with them. I'm doing all of this until I can get into a facility (hopefully I can) because I really don't want to be completely delusional again. I don't know how I survived last time.