I see, sorry I didn't have much info on your state brother, yes! Keep that positivity flowing until you get admitted to the facility. At any sign of depression call a friend, trust me that's what I do it's not a burden. I lived with the voices for years arguing back and forth not wanting to let me sleep. Now my delusions shifted to people in real life talking about me. normally they kind of got in control, they are part of me, instead of having a argument with the voices, i interorize them as me. Kind of a alter ego. Just shared this so you can feel better. There is treatment, medication and therapy to help us. Stick around, post, or just youtube music. Hope you feel relaxed. Oh and use that energy to good use.