I have such a problem with frustration. It's the core experience of my life. I play competitive Scrabble and i work hard on it but i don't seem to get a good return on my investment. Scrabble is so black and white: you win or you lose. It's not a good hobby for someone with an emotional disorder.

I feel so wretched when i lose. Once after i lost six games in a row i slapped myself across the face hard four times. I love it when i win but my online win-rate is only 55% so about half the time i lose. I keep trying things to get better but nothing works, or it works so slowly i don't notice.

One player said i was having pyrrhic victories which turns out to be victories at excessive cost. A 'wonk' is an overly studious student and that's what i am. There are people who play by their wits and don't study at all who can beat me.

I try and tell myself, well at least i exercise my mind (51, on disability benefits) and pass the time but it's such an unpleasant way to spend my time. Also, it keeps a toehold in the real world as i attend a club every week.

I keep meaning to develop another hobby and i have listening to music but it's so hard to find something that i can do at home that's sedentary and doesn't make a mess or take any room and is free or cheap. I've tried knitting and crochet and playing the guitar and recorder and poetry and creative writing and reading and soap operas and sketching and finger painting and sewing and making collages and learning other languages.

I'm just so dumb!

Does anybody else have problems with frustration and what do you do about it?