Long story short my bf of 2 years has been emotionally and verbally abusive to me since the beginning. I'm so unhappy in our relationship and I just want to get out and be free from this, but I can't handle being without him. The idea of not being able to go to him gives me so much anxiety. I get really attached to the men I date but this hasn't happened in years. (I think it may be related to the abuse in some way).
I know I deserve better than this. I know it's wrong. I know this isn't healthy or right but whenever I try to leave him I cave and come back. I feel so stupid and worthless for doing so. I don't have anyone else in my life I'm close to. He's the only person I feel comfortable with so if I leave him I'll be completely alone. I don't know what to do. I want to be able to leave this relationship and not come crawling back like always. How can I have the strength to just leave?