Literally in the same day: I got to the point where I tried to end my life. I wished for death. Didn't feel like i deserve to live. I was having panic attacks just from coming out of the house. I spent most of my time sleeping in a corner in the living room floor.
Then hours later I somehow did a complete 180. I decided to go to Wal-Mart and spend $150 on cleaning supplies to clean my apartment that I havnt cleaned once in three months. I cleaned it until I had to work at 5 the next morning. Tons of energy but not like I have full blown insomnia. I'll sleep here and there. My friend thinks I'm paranoid because I saw the maintenance guy look at me out the window and then I saw him sprint to the door. So I tried to avoid him coming after me by diving into my apartment. I swear he was after me for something though. Anyway. My mood is great. I feel estatic. I feel confident and sexy. It's like everything is brighter too. Like colors are vibrant outside when I go on a walk. And food even tastes better. I say it's just me being happy and finally shaking this depression out of my head. My friend thinks its just on a high I'm riding until I come crashing again. I wish they would just be happy that I'm happy for once in 3 months!!