You need IP , you just never see how “ unwell” you become.

Your husband is TELLING you he will drive you , so your “ I cant do X because of transportation “ default response or thinking doesn't fly.
I’m glad you husband will make a call to your Pnurse if you won’t do it. Good for him helping you.

Why is IP so horrible for you? I know you don’t like to be around people but you deserve to feel better so that you can be more involved with your family and life.

Self harm will not solve anything ( former cutter here) you do not have to harm yourself to cope with life.

Just something to keep in mind if you commit suicide it increases the risk your son will do the same by 50% , doesn’t Miguel deserve better????

Just STOP and get help it’s there for you if you just want it....