Same here with me. I know there are other people (unfortunately) out there with bad childhoods, abuse, molestation, yelling & angry fathers (especially one who most likely has Aspergers). I don't know what flipped the switch when I was in college, maybe the fact that I didn't have to answer to anyone. And that turned into anorexia, which was weird in my family because most of my mom's family was overweight (my father's side of the family is much thinner naturally). Then, who could understand that? Even my only good friend, my best friend in college, didn't confront me about it. I finally brought up the conversation to her. She said of course she noticed, especially in pictures, but I always ate normally around her. She didn't question what it was she wasn't seeing - the meals I skipped to make up for an upcoming night out with her, the miles and miles I ran each day, nearly blacking out in the shower so many times, the sleeplessness, the depression. You present a happy veneer, and that's what people want to see, so they don't look beyond it.

All the psych issues, the childhood issues, being an accidental gun violence victim in graduate school, an adulthood sexual assault, parenting a highly sensitive child, the hospitalizations, not being able to hold down a job, all my experiences have just snowballed into so much baggage. Oh, and let's not forget to add nearly dying on Valentine's Day from a perforated ulcer I never even knew I had and the extreme physical pain and depression that followed, right on the heels of my pdoc of 10 years retiring.

Other people just don't understand this stuff. My husband tries, but even he doesn't get it fully. You can't unless you've lived it.