My mom and step father are on vacation about 10 hours away. They've been gone a few days and they won't be back for awhile. I don't do well without my mom at all. Even when she's just at work for a little bit. I'm not even supposed to be left alone, according to who I'm not sure, at least completely alone, because I guess they're afraid I'm going to flip and do something stupid. They left me with my little brother. It used to be me taking care of him all this time when he was little. Now he's 16 and has power over me and apparently is in charge of me and I'm 25. He's supposed to be here at all times and be in charge of all the house and pet things and getting our dinner. That's mainly because I've been a useless slump on the furniture.

Anyways my brother decided to go out with his friends and hang out or whatever. That was hours ago. Like this morning and now it's 9:30pm. He texted me that he's staying the night somewhere and won't be home until like late tomorrow. I'm freaking out here. I cannot be alone it's so scary. I know I'm a huge baby but whatever. I am SO paranoid to begin with and now I'm left alone with all these things. I'm so overwhelmed. I've just now slowed down on all of my hallucinations. They are not completely gone but much much better. I can't go to bed alone while in this state. I get scared of what I see and hear, that's why I need a distraction.

I have to take my seroquel to keep these hallucinations and stuff to a minimum but it makes me so sleepy. I don't want to go to sleep while no one is here. I can't stand not being in control, I need to stay awake and maintain the house. What if something catches on fire or something?? I'm so stressed.