(sui tw)

I have been in an extreme depressive episode for the past few weeks, I've been having the most intense suicidal thoughts I've had in a long time. But what I don't get is that I'm doing everything "right" to combat the depression. I'm exercising, eating healthy, showering every day, not isolating myself, writing... but I still feel f--king AWFUL. I just have this overwhelming feeling of wanting to ***.
And I'm just so frustrated because there's not even anything in my behavior to change to fix this, I'm using all my coping mechanisms but I still feel like I'm in hell

Sorry just needed to vent