I just want him to understand. Not to avoid it, and not to convince me he understands only to prove otherwise again down the line.

He has said various hurtful things to me over the years like :

Him: "i feel like talking about T1 is a cul de sac"
Me: "would you call talking about an abusive family member a cul de sac"
Him: "no"

and:

Me: it still feels very present
Him: which is odd considering it's been three years.

Both of those caused ruptures. He doesn't seem to see it at the same kind of trauma as other traumas. Even though he tells me he now gets it.

When he came back from holiday I told him about a horrible nightmare I had about T1. He didn't even really say anything about it. I'm just tired of going over this with him again and again. It's been years.