I don't believe in destiny, never have or ever will. I do, however, understand that tugging feeling. Even now, I feel it... I feel it bad. I guess I just don't like being told what to do

In all seriousness, not caring to even care is a telltale symptom that's common in depression. A symptom that can be treated in a lot of cases. I understand not caring to fight it, up until this past week I felt the same. I don't know what's changed for me, maybe I'm tired of misery. There's this line from a song by Our Last Night, "I won't go to my grave until a difference is made." I guess I just don't feel as though I've made enough of a difference to be granted the right to die. Maybe I'm a masochist.

I really hope you keep fighting this and flip off that tug from death's door. I'm here if you need me and/or want to talk, or even just want a distraction (I have plenty of crude jokes and barely any filter ).