Quote:
Originally Posted by Skeezyks
I'm sorry you are struggling with this.  I'm not a mental health professional.  But, based on my own personal experience, I would have to say you are suicidal. And my recommendation is to not wait until someone asks you if you are suicidal, but rather to reach out, in real life, now for the help you need. 
One of the factors, in determining whether or not a person is suicidal, is if they have a plan as well as the means to carry the plan out. From what you wrote, it sounds as though you have both. I have been where you are... twice. And it didn't end well either time.  Please reach out, in real life, for help.  |
Thanks. That helps to know someone understands. Anyway, I have attempted it in the past, but it was impulsive and not thinking it through clearly. The most recent one (June 1st) was where I stood outside barefoot in the rain while it was lightning real badly. Then after crying a bit, I decided it might hurt if I got struck so I came inside. Then, the urge eventually passed. I go back and forth in my head debating whether I should make it look like an accident (which could involve some suffering as you can't control an "accident" without it being obvious); and whether I should say "screw it, I don't care what anyone thinks" and do something that will be painless.
That strong "urge" hasn't returned since the lightning incident. I just want to be "prepared" for when the "urge" does overcome me again. At this very moment I don't have the "intention" to go through with it. That is why I am not sure if it's really anything to be concerned with yet. Sorry for ranting.
Oh well...