My husband and I will have been married 14 years on August 4. We have a 10 year old daughter.

He is a teacher and so is off over the summer. One of his big projects has been organizing our files. At some point, he ran into old medical records of his (he has had some back surgeries and related PT, other minor issues), which made him decide to organize our medical records and get ones we are missing.

It is crazy. He asked that I see about getting medical records from my retiring pdoc (the one who changed my diagnosis from major depression to bipolar and the new pdoc I am seeing at the same practice). If I do get them, it will likely cost a fortune as I have been going there over 10 years, and the file with my old pdoc had to be 4 or 5 inches thick.

It probably is a good idea to have those records, but it’s the craziest thing. I have filled out all sorts of releases over the years, allowing the doctors and office to communicate with my husband or to give him access to medical info of mine if needed. Only once over the years did he need a one on one with my pdoc, and I was there, I knew what she said.

The thing is, even though I have not seen them, those records feel extremely private. I don’t know what all I talked about over the years, including my relationship with my husband, self-harm, suicidal thoughts, eating disorder stuff, my feelings postpartum, etc. Even if I can afford to get the records, I am not sure I want my husband to see them. They are just so personal, the only people I want to actually see them are my pdocs and me.

It’s just crazy. I wouldn’t care a bit if he read my records from our family doctor, from my rheumatologist, all the detailed pages of unofficial medical records I could print out detailing my recent hospitalization for a perforated ulcer.

Is it normal to want to keep my psych records to myself and not share them with him?