I wouldn’t worry about dying alone because that could happen to anyone. I am married but my husband might die before me and my daughter lives far that might not even get anywhere around me on time.

But it doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try to enjoy relationships while alive.

I am not sure about smoking ton of weed. It might actually limit your dating pool. Many people would opt against dating those who execessively (or at all) smoke weed. Do you have therapist? I’d advice you to see one and ask for help with social skills