I understand your situation, but I have never been in your shoes. I am not married and I don't have my own family, but what I can say to you is that if you want to find happiness start within yourself and not in another person. For years I have tried to find happiness through other partners I have had and it took me a long time to realize that it starts with me. When you find true happiness within yourself you will notice how everything else falls in place and your happier. If you love your wife and family and you both have a good relationship work it out. If she is a problem then you have to let her go, but I don't think that you should throw what you guys have away for another human being. What if that other woman doesn't turn out the way you thought she was. Is she worth losing your family. Instead of going out with her drinking and talking why don't your wife and you do that and commincate with her. Let her know how you feel take her out for a drink. Go back to the times when you guys first met and don't just be parents, but be couples as well. I wish you all the best of luck. Foind yourself and find the happiness within yourself and the rest will fall into place. Good Luck. I hope you find the happiness and joy. May God bless you.