I just read all of your posts and the responses. I'm sorry, DP, that you feel this way about yourself. In saying that, I wonder why I can't say this same thing to myself. Lately, I've noticed an emergence of the concept of self-compassion in therapy, which in the limited articles I've read, has been quite successful in therapy with depressed and anxious patients.
The results of my psychological testing three years ago noted neglect, a personality disorder NOS w/avoidant features (NOT an Avoidant Personality Disorder), emotional abuse, cognitive problems of unknown origin, etc. I know many of my problems are rooted in CEN, though my T and I haven't talked about it, specifically.

I don't think I have any useful suggestions in answer to your questions, other than to tell you that you have to feel you are worthy of love and care before you can believe/trust that others love and care for you. My T has been a huge help for me, though I still have my moments of doubt. At the end of our last session two weeks ago (he took July 4th off, but saw clients all other days), I texted him, feeling self-destructive. He's given me access to him by texting, emailing, or calling out of sessions. I don't often text him, even when I'm struggling, but I did two weeks ago. Normally, he responds within 10 minutes, if only to acknowledge he received my text. I still had no response the next morning. He told me a month ago that he had been getting spam texts and that if I texted him, it may take him longer to respond. However, in our last appt. he told me he downloaded another message app and the spam texts had decreased. So......what did I think when he didn't respond? That he was tired of my texts and had blocked me. It was difficult, but I emailed him by sending my text from the night before. He responded in a couple of minutes, telling me to feel free to email him with what was going on. I emailed him, "Can't. Sorry." We'll talk about it tomorrow. The point of all of this is to tell you that if you think about how your T (or your best friend) typically treat you, speak to you, etc., you need to remember their past behavior and internalize it. It's not easy, but you have to trust those people closest to you and think about how consistent they've been. I'm scared to death my T is going to tell me that he did, indeed, block me, but he's never given me any indication he would do such a thing and just a month ago told me what to expect if I texted him. Doing that with my T, recalling how consistent he's been, always being available, never giving me any reason to believe he'd stopped caring - that was a very big step for me toward feeling I was worthy of being loved and cared for.

I do understand what you feel. Perhaps, telling your T what you've posted here about CEN will help your T find a way to be of more help. It's so unfair that others have caused the damage, but we're the only ones who can fix what was done to us.
{{Hugs}} ~~