4 years ago I was just about coming out, I've never looked back. I knew I was different by age 5 but lacked language or any frame of reference by which to describe myself. I was outed by my mother at 15 and called a pervert - how to instill self-loathing in one caustic insult. It took me 35 more years finally to break down psychologically and transition as final resort. It has cost me most of my so-called family, but it is riddled with narcissism going back generations, incapable of unconditional love and I'm now on the outside looking in and wanting no further part in it. Emancipation can be a painful experience.

My suggestion Eelsauces is to park your sexuality and let it be whatever it is whenever it emerges. It doesn't matter much. Figure out who you are first and become very good at being you. Lynn Conway said "If you want to change the future, start living as if you're already there." I'd take heed of this advice - go ahead with your social transition and start living full time as your male self. Your body can catch up later, once you get your gender dysphoria diagnosis and are prescribed testosterone. If you are insistent, persistent and consistent in your gender identity then just get on with being yourself without compromising for anyone and your diagnosis will be straightforward. Leave behind anyone who doesn't accept you unconditionally. Especially family. There will be those who would rather you rotted in the status-quo but the point is that their perspectives are selfish and are not focused on your needs.

I have absolutely no regrets. My transition was brutal on every level and I have needed therapy in the absence of adequate support structures but I am now thriving in ways I never thought possible. I'm now a confident and competent leader - before transition I was scared to voice an opinion. The whole journey is the process of becoming your authentic self. There are no easy rides or short cuts but the outcome is amazing. Become amazing.