From.... an alters point of view.... may be different.. from host or other alters...

as a Mom alter.... this is my point of view....

I try so hard... so very hard... to stay in the "present"... not in the "past"... not looking to the "future"....

"good therapy" instilled that into me....

But there are times... when I do get so very sad... about the life that I would have had... could have had... should have.... and had it not been taken from me...by the abusers my life...

And what can I say......what can I say....

Recently... my adult son... and I had a conversation.... and I told him some of my life... some of the abuse..

I did this... because I had hoped to give him some idea.. of why.. I have PTSD.... why.. at this point in my life.. I am choosing to live my life differently..

The... non-compassion... that I got... I guess did not surprise me... for... he was raised in environment.. where abuse did not happen... where... it was a happy sub-division... where... friends were many.. vacations...to be had... families to enjoy...

But... it is a non-subject between us.... shocking... but non-shocking..that this should now be a "secret" between us... just like.. all the people in my past....

I might as well... as told him.. well... I just ate dinner...that is the reaction.. that I got.... and.... that is the way it is....

So.... the "legacy" continues... my son... I raised to not understand...
to have no compassion... for those that have suffered...

I just don't know... makes me feel so very, very sad....