I cannot stand small talk myself. And if I don't have to, I won't do it at all. I'm pretty much a recluse with the exception of having a very few close friends (funnily enough, they live in other countries and one of them I've never met).

As far as dating is concerned, it's a numbers game. With the dating apps, there were several matches on liking the appearance of someone. But as far as connecting, it was very few and far between because again, the small talk and reluctance in going deeper disinterests me. But the ones that put an effort out in connecting with me, I'll put effort out.

Meeting them in person is a whole different ball field (or whatever the analogy is). I've learned that playing the 20 questions game helps a lot. It's essentially small talk, but it helps and small talk is essential in everyday life. There was a New Yorker piece how playing the 20 question game with someone can lead to a deeper relationship.

That's how my relationship started with my current SO. We played the 20 question game (I cheated by having notes in my phone so that I wouldn't run out of questions to ask). I really didn't think this was going to turn into anything because I didn't think this person liked me at all. My SO and I'll be celebrating one year together next week.

I still have no idea what I'm doing, but having my social anxiety hasn't deterred my SO at all. I suppose that cheesy saying where if you find the right one, then it doesn't matter comes into play.

One step at a time. Without any steps, you ain't going anywhere. So just take a step.