I feel T blamed me though she said to "drop the self blame". Because she said I should never have told her. And that she had to lie for a year pretending she didn't know X, just as I lied every time said friend asked "Do you think T knows about my secret X?"

I feel it's all my fault. It was a really big secret with huge ramification in that friend's issues...

Now I feel I can't talk to T about my friends anymore. Especially as another friend might start seeing T too... They all need her more then me. Serious thing happened which proved my friend really needs to see T more often.

I should go away. I'm not sui. I don't deserve care, my friends do. No one cares because I'm always high functioning and would never attempt sui.

I feel T blamed me for telling my friend's secret.