I've realised that I've been hurt in my relationship over and over but I've suppressed it. It's mostly been around his old relationship interfering with ours. Some of its been around my insecurities (seeing wedding photos of them still displayed in his family home, her keeping his last name etc) and some of its been around him grieving (saying he's 'done' with attachment, saying he wont 'fight' for me, saying marriage and 'wives' are horrible - and just bringing it up all the time). But either way I've suppressed this pain. Then there is uncertainty about our future dreams and whether we want the same things.

Now I'm miserable and depressed from suppressing everything. I've talked about these issues but he doesn't know how to validate, reassure or work it out with me so these issues and my feelings go unresolved.

I feel like I'm in a constant state of anger and resentment. Sometimes I even forget why I'm angry... and then I feel guilty for being angry. It's almost like if I stop being angry then I'll let my guard down and I'll wind up getting hurt when the next thing comes at me.

BUT its not all the time now. Nothing has been said in the last few weeks.

I'm wondering if I should let everything go and just try to start fresh with a clean slate. Maybe now that we're a year into our relationship things might change? But then.. I still feel anger about what was said months and months ago.