Well, I have an annoying neighbor (who doesn't?). But my introverted nature and depression seems to make it very tough in dealing with her.

My main problem is that she's NO SENSE of boundaries and doesn't seem to understand the meaning of "NO"


For example -

She keeps shoving food she prepares to my home. She thinks it's endearing to make food for me because "I'm like her sister".

I'd be starting my day and she'd ring the doorbell with "breakfast" she has made.

She'd announce that she's made some pickles and ask me if I want some......I'd say "No thank you, I already have pickles in my home".
10 mins later, she'd show up with a jars of pickles.

No amount of "NO, Thank you" seems to enter her thick skull. Every week, she'd make something or the other and pass it on to me.

I don't eat food prepared by her and I throw away whatever she gives me (adding to my guilt). But in her mind, I owe her "something" for the food she's given. Not only receiving "copious" amount of unwanted food adds to my nerves....my family etiquette of 'always return casserole with food/something to eat' leaves me doubly frustrated. Now I have to buy some dessert/snacks for her or cook something. And I HATE COOKING.

Just the other day, she dropped by with her kid at night. The interaction went something like -

She - Busy?
Me - Yes, I am making dinner.
She - So listen to this
Me - Oh....Oh.....Oh.........
She (to her kid) - So recite the poem you learned.

Kid recites poem. I want to shoot myself.
She (to kid) - Keep reciting. Meanwhile I'll cook dinner. Come back when I call you.

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I have a water filtration system for my home, which needs to be cleaned everyday. Once she asked me how I clean it. I explained. Since then, she just started cleaning it herself.
I told her many times "Don't do it...I will do it myself."......but to no avail.

It'd be like -

She: Where are you going?
Me: To clean the water filters.
She: I did it for you already!
Me: Don't do it, I'll take care of it.

Some other day

She: Your water filter is clean today....I cleaned it today morning.
Me: Don't do it. I will do it.

Some other day

She: You don't have to clean your water filter today....I did it in the evening.
Me (mentally):
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At some point, I decided to start a herb/veggie garden.

She: Don't keep it in terrace....rats would bite your plants.
She: Don't keep it in your window sill.....too much sunlight.
She: Don't keep it in the open...expecting rain today.
She: Don't keep this plant in such a small pot.
She: Don't buy from that shop....I'll tell you from where to buy.
She: Let's buy those flowers and decorate the building like this.
She: Wouldn't those flowers look good here?
She: I trimmed the leaves of lemon plant, jackfruit plant...now it will grow nicely (my mother had kept those before she passed away.)
Both trees died. .

Needless to say, I abandoned my veggie garden, while she started a flower garden in terrace.

My mother had also kept a mango tree which gave us fruits for 3 years, until we lost the tree in a storm. Just after my mother passed away.....miracle...the tree had started regrowing from roots.

Then *SHE* decided to *help me* with it and butchered it in the name of trimming the shoots so it'd grow straight. Now the tree is struggling to grow and there are just few leaves on one of shoots from it. The remaining shoots dried.
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As you sense from the interaction above, that nutjob has NO sense of boundaries. She looks at me like her helpless "younger sister". I look at her as my first murder victim. She thinks she's being possessive and endearing.....in reality she's being the person you want to beat the crap out with a shovel.


Everytime my doorbell rings, I pray it'd better not be her.....especially with another plate of food .

She's not even a nice person. She mocks her kid's "stupidity". She constantly compares her kid and me (I'm 30 years older than her kid)....like "Her hair is not as curly as yours"....."She doesn't sing as well as you do"

Every person she hires for her work complains about how "rude" she is to them. If she hires anyone through me, she'd be very nice to them.
I've often heard her yell at her kid "Will you do this homework or you want me to hit you?" (She doesn't hit her kid, but she sure likes to threaten)

Everytime I hear her nasal twang, I just want to move far away from my home, like Chandler moved to Yemen to get away from Janice. Actually she's exactly like Janice minus the humor.

I'd like to keep our interaction to a MINIMUM and somehow no amount of "NO" seems to get to her. I don't want to fight, I want to keep things cordial.

How do I deal with her. Please help me.