Oh my Drastic times call for drastic measures. Creative measures indeed. What types of interests could you develop *wink, wink, nod, nod* that might be so over the top but freak her right out of coming over again? Something, of course, that years from now you could laugh in telling the tale?
Something, perhaps with a spiritual twist? Which could go either way? Hardcore with the Bible or the exact opposite in telling her you are practicing some voodoo magic rituals?

I know it's on the passive aggressive angle, but at this point making her want to not visit is the endgoal.