My brother said he will be home tonight. But I take my meds at 8 and they knock me out but I can’t go to sleep without all the doors locked so I’m stuck.

Hopefully having him here will help. I have been trying to watch a tv show I like to pass time but it’s been 5 days and I’ve barely watched any. I might color. That sounds fun. I usually end up ip during the summer because of these kinds of things. By the time I’m too far gone and won’t think to use a help line. I hate sounding so helpless and like a child still that I need my mom. It’s embarrassing and gives me no hope for the future