I need my mom too. She's the reason I have a clean house and eat real meals and while she isn't really involved with my psychiatric care that is always available if feel unable to do it myself (I'm too embarrassed to accept help).. This time I'm doing better than I have ever before so I am hoping that I am able to actually do some real things and make some real food while she's away.

I used to live alone, 30 minutes from my mom. I reached a point I couldn't do that any longer because I needed help so I moved here. And life definitely got easier when I moved here. I wish I didn't need help but do. And there's no shame in that.

I know that you have trouble believing it can be better. I promise you, it can. If I can hit stability (and I suddenly have) then anyone can. It took 16 years from diagnosis (and many years of misdiagnosis before that) and so many meds and combinations that it doesn't sound real (40plus meds, 70plus combinations) but last summer my clozapine dose was increased and while I still cycled through the spring suddenly instead of my annual summer hypo/mania I just got stable this year. No reason anyone can see but it is working and even if it only lasts another day I have been stable. I'm pretty sure my therapist never thought it would happen and my pdoc didn't really think it would although she has more experience with clozaril and knew what it can do for treatment resistant patients. It just took me 2.5 years for clozaril to work like it does for other people more quickly.

Really though, if it happened for me it can for you.