My cousin done so many horrible things to me. For once in my life I don't have to worry about being in contact with him. His Grandmother (my great aunt) passed away and she was the only reason I had to talk to him. Even as adult he would hug me, grab my breast, grab my butt or kiss me on the cheek and tell me how beautiful I am. Unfortunately I was so afraid of him I would always freeze when he would touch me. I do not feel relief, I now feel sadness, and I am confused as to why. I have cried so much and it started when I realized it was over. I do not have to worry about him touching me or kissing me ever again. The flashbacks are not helping and I don't undertake why they are so heavy in my head right now. It is supposed to be over. But I don't feel like it.