I haven’t ever been in a relationship with a guy. I’m 30 now and all my experience has been bad either they didn’t like me or if they did I didn’t get a chance. I’ve been afraid to go out in front of anyone for years now. I have a lot of anxiety and I’m agoraphobic. I always wanted to be loved to have a guy I love love me too but it never happened for me. I barely had any experience with male contact. I feel alone and have nothing to look forward to. I’m always told I don’t need a guy to work on myself but denying myself a relationship when that’s what I wanted isn’t something I could do. My age now bothers me I feel I have to rush to meet someone. It feels hopeless I don’t understand why I don’t get to be happy. It takes a lot for me to be really into a guy now I don’t find the guys in my town attractive and they aren’t good guys either. I’m also in love A video game character which I know no real guy is going to be like. Should I keep telling myself I’ll find the right guy or am I just kidding myself.