I dont want to sound "edgy" or anything, but I've been struggling to connect with other people since I've had multiple negative experiences with betrayal and neglect. I can truly care about one person, and only because I met her before my ability to care started to go downhill. It's an apathy for humanity and its wellbeing that easily turns to genuine hatred and disgust at times.

I think I may have delusions like thinking I'm swimming in water or in space or something I'm not, so I'm wondering if my hatred could be one of them? It doesn't FEEL like it though. It may be a personality disorder but I'm not sure. Hoping to get a therapist or counselor of some kind in a few months and I'd like to know what to ask about.