A lot of the depression I felt growing up was because I felt like we were poor. I can remember that my mum wouldn't book a taxi for the weekly shop some weeks and get us all to carry the bags home in a procession. There was always heavy bags of fizzy juice and cr^p we didnt need. A taxi would have cost 3.50 or less. People must have questioned why my mum didn't get a taxi or the bus and made her young kids march home with bags and bags of shopping. My mum liked to make a big drama of everything and part of her wanted people to feel sorry for her. When In the car with Fred I would often see my step nan struggling home with bags in both arms from the supermarket and it would bring it all back. My step granda said that people like us don't own houses when dad and aunt proposed the idea. That's how I felt about university and my life chances. Someone from my background understands that reality is stranger than fiction. Fearing what people thinks about you constantly and that one day I would be rumbled as a fraud If I ever made head way. Everybody expected far too much from me. But nobody offered any help.or support or encouragement. So sometimes I just wanted to be left alone.