You have to accept the fact that you have been abused and not run away from your feelings. The experiences have been bad and shouldn't have happened. But you or anyone else cannot go back to the past and delete them. I had been sexually abused by a so-called uncle at home for one whole year when I was a kid. When I understood what was happening I told my mom and he was thrown out of the house. I was in an abusive marriage for about 5-6years where I was frequently beaten up and verbally abused. Then a year ago when I got agitated and was breaking things, my mom and dad beat me up together for over an hr and got people to forcibly lock me up in a psych hospital. I have accepted these experiences, acknowledged that they are bad but I told myself not to cling to them and grieve over them but move on. You have to try to do the same.