I think we both got a bit lost yesterday. Lately we've been using a gas tank analogy and I've told him I feel like I'm running on fumes. I'm trying to recharge in therapy, but it's not working. The letter I wrote and he read was about some of the reasons I've been having trouble that had to do with our relationship. Things that I normally wouldn't bring up because I usually don't say things to people. I just take things away and either drop them or bring them up later. One of the things was about the financial aspect of our relationship and the way I perceived some things as insensitively handled and how I wonder if he only cares because I pay him. I think I wrote about that recently on here. I have issues in this area because my husband was unemployed for 15 years and I felt that the only reason he kept me around was because I was able to feed, house, clothe, and keep him supplied in alcohol. This prompted him to start talking about his practice and how he was bad at getting paid for his work and then the assessment thing came up. None of this made me feel any better about bringing this up. It was really hard to let him know how I felt and I'm still not sure if he only sees me as a paycheck.

Some other things he said:
He can't give me everything I need.
I'm on the extreme end among his clients about me not telling him when things bug me.
He promised me too much. (About him missing 2 of our regular sessions next week, even though we rescheduled one, and next week is the anniversary of the fire.)

I can't remember more. It was a very intensely painful session and I left feeling like a horrible, needy person. I seem him again in a few hours. I still think he's a good therapist for me, but this session just took a turn I didn't see coming.