This was a large part of your mind for however long,so suddenly its
gone and there is this empty space left,only its not empty,you are
still with the abuse and revulsion you felt because of him---which is perfectly understandable. You need to give yourself TIME,and
you need to FILL that time with life-enhancing activities and self-
care.Try this book:"Self-Compassion",by Kirstin Neff ; she has website too. And there is site with all sorts of interests all over the
world,including your area,its 'meetups.com',please have a look.
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE