I don't know about the hypervigilance, but I remember hating school because I hated being around other people I didn't know and worried way too much about what others think of me. There was also a lot of other stuff going on at the time, too...

As for loss of faith, yeah, been there, done that. It turned into a full-fledged phobia of death and dying. How do you overcome something like that with exposure therapy? Go Flatliners? There's literally no cure for such a phobia, and there's nothing someone can say to alieviate the reality of the situation. That in turn, turned into an obsession and that in turn has lead down some rather odd (and dark) paths.

When it first happened, I just sort of gave up everything and sank itnto a sort of stupor. I would wake up, stare at the wall all day, and then go to sleep. I remember almost nothing from those six weeks other than someone occasionally knocking at the door, which I would ignore. I lost 22 pounds from not eating at all. It was only because I was nearly force-fed and dragged out of my house by people I knew to get me to snap out of it that I did, and for weeks after, I remember feelling the pull of that stuporous sort of limbo, calling me back. And I would often catch myself sort of drifting down into it again every so often.

Feels like those times are coming back because it's really just getting to be too much.