I'm sorry you are struggling with this. Yes, what you describe does sound sort-of like dissociative disorder. But I'm not a mental health professional. And we here on PC can't diagnose you. For this, you'll need to see a mental health professional (assuming you're not already doing so.)

There is a forum, here on PC, dedicated to dissociative disorders. You might want to consider posting your experiences there. Here's a link:

https://forums.psychcentral.com/dissociative-disorders/

And then here are links to some articles, from PsychCentral's archives, that discuss dissociative disorders. Perhaps reading them will provide you with some useful information:

https://psychcentral.com/disorders/d...n-depth/?all=1

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/relat...-common-signs/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/careg...onnected-self/

I wish you well...