Hey all, long time no post. I hope everyone has been okay.

I'm just feeling really tired at the moment. I'm having some setbacks. I got a job at the beginning of the year. It's my first job ever and I'm grateful for it. However, it's very difficult, especially when you're dealing with setbacks.

I'm a peer support specialist on a hotline and many of these calls are from people who have been through trauma and abuse. I feel like it is almost impossible to not take your work home with you when you are in the mental health field, especially when you have been through trauma of your own. So I compartmentalize but then I immediately get another call. Then I go home and it's tough.

I've known I wanted to be a therapist since I was in high school (although I wanted to be a musician more), so I knew this would happen. But knowing and experiencing it are 2 different things, you know? It's also my first job so I'm learning how to cope with everything.

It also doesn't help that many of these calls are also about relationship issues and many of these relationships remind me of my past romantic relationship and my past partner. The trauma stories are similar to what has happened to her and it makes me feel sad for her. Sometimes I honestly think more about her trauma than mine when I get these calls, which I'm not sure is a good thing or a bad thing.

I just feel really sad for these callers and...I dunno. Don't get me wrong. I love helping people, especially since I've been through my own stuff and it's nice to relate to people and support them. It's hard.

Then I keep thinking about my dreams in life but that's another story.

I don't know where I'm going with this but I just wanted to vent a bit. Thanks for reading.