My boyfriend is terminally ill with cancer. He was awfully sick even before the diagnosis of cancer. He has gone from one awful illness to another. Over and over and over, I think I'm about to lose him . . . and then he manages to recover enough to keep on. In May doctors said he probably only had a few weeks left. He's been rushed to the emergency room and admitted 5 times just in 2018 alone.

I would like to hear how other people have dealt with caring for someone terminally ill. I've seen families struggle with long vigils waiting for the end. Even when you're heartbroken over losing someone, it becomes agony thinking the end is around the corner . . . and then it keeps going on and on. It's like seeing someone on death row keep getting a "stay of execution" at the last minute over and over. When I've brought him to the ER, the doctors there look at us like: "Oh no, not those two again."

I have been breaking down emotionally, crying, and not letting my bf see me crying. He's doing very well this week. But I tell myself that this is just a tease. I'll just start to be glad of him feeling better and then it will go the other way. It's an emotional rollacoaster. I feel shell-shocked.

I feel like the longer this goes on, the more of a basket case I will be when I finally do lose him. I wonder if anyone can understand this. I'm not looking for praise for caring for him. I'm trying to understand why I'm becoming so emotionally unstable.