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Even though I love my parents and know they will support me like I have before, I’m terrified that their ego just won’t take my assertiveness, even though I have not spoken up about this issue yet.
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Remember that they are the parents, it is not your job to protect their egos.
What might they do if their egos are unable to deal with your assertiveness?
In general, how do they react when dissatisfied with what you are doing? You might want to research codependency and see whether it applies to your situation.
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How can I tell my parents that this advice is uncalled for? How can I share with them that I want to be helped differently?
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I would not use the term
uncalled for. My advice is focus on what you want them to do going forward, not on what they are doing wrong.
One thing to consider about a letter is that they can keep it and use it bring up your exact words months, years later. They can easily refresh whatever wounds their egos might feel. Even after the letter there will be a need for some sort of discussion. For these reasons I think there are some advantages to using bullet points to guide a conversation, as ShadowGX mentioned.