Hello. I'm new to the forum. I don't usually post on forums, I'm quite a shy person and have struggled with anxiety issues for most of my life.

I have been a friend with someone who differs in wildly in personality from me. We have been friends for over ten years.

For a while now I have been dreading receiving any contact from this person. I believe she is a narcissist or at the least an emotional vampire. Everything that is done and said has to come back to her. She is the type who would go to a funeral and try to make herself the focus of attention, which she has done. Friends have to visit her but she's too ill and full of grief about her life (starting from birth) that she'll rarely visit her friends. She constantly complains and nothing is right for her. She will go out of her way to complain to companies and on social media. She dramatises everything and blows it out of proportion. She also makes people feel guilty if they haven't contacted her or done something to boost her ego in some way. Her oldest friend is also very shy and does whatever she says. This friend is a nervous wreck and has little to no self esteem. I've noticed that the people who surround her are all like this, including me and its set off warning bells.

I feel as though she emotionally manipulating the people around her , using guilt as some form of control. I've noticed she does this a lot and yet it can be subtle - a sentence popped into a long wall of text of unrelated subjects. There is so much more I could write about her treatment of people and her bizarre and mean spirited messages about other people. I'm fairly certain that she spits vitriolic comments about me to other parties too. She is a very negative person and yet claims she is the most reasonable person she knows and that she is 'too caring'.

Anyway, I've decided to end the friendship but I wanted to know if it's normal to have doubts about ending a relationship even though behind the facade you know it's toxic and hurting you? I feel like her therapist sometimes but recently I'm starting to feel more like a punching bag.

Also I know the fallout is going to be horrendous. Many people have left her before and I'm prepared for her to try and initiate contact again. I just feel that my life would pick up without her. I might even get some self confidence back.

We've had good times but mostly they've been times to suit her and what's going on in her life. There is so much turbulence and bitterness in her which has been there from the start but I've only just woken up to. I have memories of times when she's made me feel unjustifiably bad about myself that keep popping into my head.

I'd love to know if anyone else has gone through a similar pattern and if leaving the relationship was the best decision for you? I guess what I'm looking for is for someone to tell me I'm making the right decision

I wanted to send her a message about it this morning but I know confrontation never goes well with this person. I've seen it with others in her life...she will spam hurtful messages. I think ghosting is the only option and yet I feel guilty about it. Any insight would be really appreciated. Thanks.

Sorry for the long post.