Thanks for that article DodgyOldBird.

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"It's difficult to tell in the first few months of a relationship whether they're developing a healthy love relationship or an unhealthy limerent relationship," Wakin says. "In a love relationship, the feelings give way to a more predictable relationship and it feels good. In a limerent relationship, those longings tend to intensify. Over time, it doesn't feel good."

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">This did ring a bell with me about my relationship with T. In the first few months of seeing him, I was in a kind of "crush" phase. I thought about him constantly, found pics of him on the Internet, discovered his home address, listened to a voicemail he left me about a thousand times, etc. It seemed highly unnatural and scary to me (I had never heard of transference). But after a few months, just as this limerance article says, the relationship subsided into a more healthy, less obsessed one, of mutual caring. I gradually slid into being comfortable with the therapeutic relationship, was more secure in my feelings for T and recognized the authenticity of what he reciprocated. He says our relationship is real, that he cares, etc. etc. I am secure in where I stand. The obsessive phase is over. I always just likened this to the crush phase of a new relationship. It would indeed be torture to never leave this phase.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
"if our research continues to go in the direction it has been going and that we expect it will go, ultimately what we want to move toward is diagnosis, prognosis and treatment."

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">I sure hope they don't start classifying unrequited love as a mental disorder. And people can get treatment for it already--I'm sure that is a problem many people work on in therapy.