I'm still alive. Been doing pretty decent lately. It was hell for a month though cause APPARENTLY they decreased ALL controlled substances at my pain drs practice, which is mother ****ing lame. Lost the whole month of june. Finally feeling decent again. I tried to go down on tramadol too fast and got really sick, so went back up half a pill and it's working out better, so down to 1.5 pills a day from the 3 pills I was on. god damn that sucked. I think yes i would wish that on my enemies lmaooooo. Other than that mood was wonky last month cause of the withdrawals but has seemed to even out again. I've been working on learning things about making life not suck so much and trying to be more productive. My garden is wild this year so i spend a lot of time in it. I'm growing zucchini, yellow squash, eggplant, peppers, and a couple diff kinds of tomatoes. Next year I want a bigger garden. The only bad thing about being out in the sun and being part irish is that there's freckles now all over my face. I hate it.

Other than that my husband is visiting this week from his job in NY. He's working for a congressional candidate up there in the hudson valley. I'm not sure he likes it up there, he's always complaining about the traffic. lol. He's also not a fan of the tolls and he has to go over the bridge from Rhinebeck to Kingston every day. He's going back up tomorrow and then won't be home till november. He did get a promotion though after they won the primary so maybe I can get my passport sorted and be able to fly up there for a few days a couple times to see him. tbh I kinda like my alone time. idk if that's bad or not. ha. just me and the animals. If i want to go to bed at 5 and not eat dinner it's totally ok. I have been cooking so much this week. I've actually lost weight cause I've gotten my appetite back and have been eating more. So that's good.

Maybe I'll be around more. idk. I'll see how it goes.