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nightbird said:
you are assigning motives to him that you are coming up with in your own head, perhaps.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Yes, I am. I know some of these motives I create are irrational, but his actions just seem so hostile. For example, he said some things in a meeting once that were very difficult for me to hear, and I couldn't write them all down, it was too much too fast, but I felt they were very important for me to remember and grapple with. They would help me in the long run be able to do the divorce more functionally. So I asked him if he could email all of us the list of things because I couldn't get them all down, and he agreed, and everyone else there appreciated this too, as they were not getting this in their notes either. But he never sent the information. I emailed him twice to get it, and he did not send it. Once he responded and said he would send it later, but never did. I asked my lawyer to get this info for us since he was ignoring me, so she tried to get it, and he ignored her too. This information would really have helped me process and prepare. Why did he withhold it? Then for a future meeting, I knew it would be helpful for me to get the topics in advance so I could mentally prepare, as they were tough issues, but I hesitated to contact him because he had withheld info before. My T suggested I explain in an email to him better why this information would be helpful to me, so I did. I was very courteous and not aggressive at all. He did respond to my email, but ignored the question of importance. However, this time he knew why the information would help me, so it seems to me by ignoring me and refusing to send the info, he was deliberately trying to be unhelpful and make this process harder for me. My T says well maybe he is just overextended and couldn't follow through on your requests because he has no time. Maybe T is right, but it just seems to me this guy makes the process deliberately harder for me when it doesn't have to be. And I would be more understanding if he just dashed off a note to me and said, "sunny, I'm sorry I can't respond to that because I'm totally swamped right now, but in a few days I should be less busy--can you remind me and send your request then?" He is just so uncommunicative. I am a very forgiving person so would listen to his excuses if he would just level with me and say he has no time, as T has suggested. In addition, I am paying this guy thousands of dollars, so it makes me incensed he can't take time to carry out his responsibilities. I'm paying for his time! Just bill me, but do it! This is really just a minor incident compared to some of the other stuff he has done. But it all piles on top of each other, and seems to fit this pattern I construct in my mind of his being out to get me. Since none of this ever gets resolved, he can say one minor thing that seems to fit in the same pattern, and I go ballistic.

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btw, i think you are a great person and i enjoy your posts and chats.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Thank you, nightbird. I hope you will post more so I can get to know you!