If he'd said any of those things with a tone of caring I'd be okay I think. But the tone I picked up on just felt accusatory. At one point today, he said I need to take into account other people's feelings when he was talking about me saying (in the letter) that I was hurt about him going to a conference next week. I thought we were allowed to say what we feel. He's usually good with stuff like this. This has thrown me for a loop. I almost want to send him a follow up email to apologize for the letter and tell him how much he means to me. I feel like I've hit a raw nerve in him and I feel so terrible about that. But maybe he'd be mad if I sent it. He's not taking away outside contact, by the way. He thanked me for asking him if he could talk today and said to keep doing that, but that he would not always be able to do it.