Quote:
Originally Posted by NP_Complete
We met the day after his vacation on a Friday. It was an okay session, but I didn't feel that connection. I was basically running on fumes at that point. After I left, I felt this wave of despair and loneliness wash over me. It was awful. I told him (in the letter) that I had seriously considered suicide that afternoon and night. I decided not to drink that night because I felt like I might do it. Since he read it, he's been saying he can't fill all my needs and boundaries and other things in the same vein. I think he's scared that I'm going to kill myself because he can't meet my needs and he's going to blame himself. In fact, I'm very confident that's exactly what all this is about. I don't know how to fix this. He's actually one of the main reasons I don't kill myself. I don't want to hurt him. What am I supposed to do? I sent him an email to apologize but I doubt it's enough.
|
I think you need to talk to him about these fears. You shouldn't have to apologize to him for being honest about your feelings. Plus, you took steps (not drinking) to stay safe. If you feel have to start hiding those thoughts from him, that wouldn't be good. Because you want to have the ability to be completely honest with him. Also, it's possible this isn't why he's acting differently.