NP, I think there have been signs for a while that your T might not have adequate training and experience to help you deal with the level of trauma you have gone through. That doesn't mean that he isn't a great guy and he doesn't care about you. If anything, I think his good heart and commitment to you is why he's been seeing you so often and trying endlessly to help you. It sounds like he's balking because he's overwhelmed and worried, which unfortunately is the exact opposite of what you need while you're feeling so stressed and at risk of harming yourself. I hope you don't take his reactions to heart because he should be able to be there for you, and he's the one who's letting you down by being all flinchy.

I'm sorry that you're getting hurt, and I hope he can get himself straightened out soon. My advice would maybe be to think about looking for a new T with a very strong trauma background, but I know how hard it is to imagine leaving a kind therapist that you really like and depend on, unless perhaps you could see two therapists in tandem.