The phases range in time. Never less than 2 weeks. Sometimes they're 1-3 months. Of course, the phase changes during that period. It isn't as intense toward the end. The insomnia calms, heart rate slows, etc. I rejoin society--meaning I stop isolating myself. But then depression sort of starts creeping in. Or I become "normal" for 1-2 weeks before depression or another phase.

I used to like these phases but they're becoming increasingly destructive. I'm taking bigger and bigger risks. Maxing out credit cards, converting religions. That sort of self-destructive behavior has increased over the years.

I talked to my parents about this evaluation. I've had these "phases" as long as they can remember. To them, it's my normal behavior. But I didn't start having the associated insomnia, increased heart rate, wired feeling until after I lived with them. I've done a pretty good job shielding them from my more intense behavior. They don't live in the same state most of the year, so they don't witness my behavior first-hand. I'm on my "best" behavior around them. My husband gets the brunt of it. He sees the full spectrum.

It's the insomnia & elevated mood that are the reasons I question my therapist's belief that I'm somewhere on the bipolar spectrum. Yes, in the beginning-middle of a phase, I become unable to sleep. Sometimes I get no sleep, sometimes 2 hrs a night. Never more than 5. But I'm not exactly well-rested when I get up as literature describes. I'm often exhausted upon awakening then mid-day become wired again. My body is tired though. It's like taking a bunch of caffeine pills. You feel tired underneath but you're so wired your mind won't sit still. Thoughts will race. It's hard to describe. I don't wake up energized though.

And while I'm in a better mood and the beginning of a phase, I wouldn't call in euphoric. More optimistic is probably a better descriptor. No delusions, etc. And I don't pace or anything like that.

Thanks everyone thus far for the feedback. I'm trying to wrap my head around everything. It definitely feels like something is not right with me--in addition to the depression/anxiety--but I'm not certain what it is. There's definitely the feeling of cycles though.